Raising strong, beautiful, confident girls is on top in my parenting priorities list. Growing up I don’t remember talking about self-esteem or self-image. It was something I didn’t really know about until High School, probably until motherhood. Having daughters shed light on so many things I probably wouldn’t have thought about.
Raising a child with a healthy self-esteem makes them better decision makers, able to learn from their mistakes, grateful, have respect for themselves and others, express their feelings, and many, many other great attributes that will help them be awesome adults and parents one day.
Although Amara and Juliet are “mamas babies”, they are adults in the making and it is my responsibility, (just as much as feeding them) to prepare them. Small (but actually pretty huge) talks about self-esteem as they get older, ( going to 1st grade!!!) will help children begin to understand who they are and want to be. And not the famous question “When I grow up, I want to be a …” more like, “I am/ want to be responsible, caring, organized”, etc. (the essentials for carrying out all other life goals).
Don’t know where to start? Try these three things to build a foundation:
- Go over the definition of self-esteem and confidence, with your child. Ask them what do they think it means to be confident? Tell them to give you an example using themselves.
- XOXO. lots and lots of kisses and hugs!
- Listening and Asking. Make sure you ALWAYS remind them to express their feelings. I have been telling the twins since they were born, “if you don’t tell me, I won’t know”. Although mamas are intuitive, we need details. A child with a healthy self-esteem is able to analyze a situation and their feelings towards it. This helps them become emotionally stable (aka fewer tantrums). After they have fully expressed themselves, I thank them for trusting me and continue on to solving the problem or celebrating.
- AFFIRMATIONS!!! the girls have been saying affirmations since they were 3.
Here is our list. It is vital to read with drama LOL, the more you attach emotion to it, the better results.
I LOVE MYSELF.
I AM CONFIDENT.
I AM POWERFUL.
I AM STRONG.
I AM INTELLIGENT.
I LOVE TO LEARN.
I AM THANKFUL FOR MY BLESSINGS.
MY HAIR IS MY HALO.
MIRACLES HAPPEN TO ME.
I LET MY LIGHT SHINE.
I LEARN FROM MY MISTAKES.
IF I FALL, I GET RIGHT BACK UP.
I CAN LAUGH AT MYSELF.
I ENJOY TRYING NEW THINGS.
I CONQUER MY FEARS.
I SEE THE BEAUTY IN OTHERS.
I GIVE LOVE TO OTHERS.
I EXPRESS KINDNESS.
I CELEBRATE OTHERS WINS.
I RESPECT OTHERS IDEAS.
I AM SAFE.
I AM LOVED.
IT IS EASY TO SHARE MY FEELINGS AND IDEAS.
I HAVE FAITH.
I LOVE MYSELF.
Read these with your little ones daily before bed, or when you wake up, or both! Make them repeat after you until they know it by memory! Make sure you go over some of the words that they probably don’t know or customize it to make it specifically for your child. You can download it here: I LOVE MYSELF. (Don’t forget to frame it!)
The girls are wearing this cute inspiring tees from Old Navy: